Before I go off on my rant, check out The Time Killer. I'm mentioned in it quite a bit. Nothing like The Tweeker Chick, Tijuana, Moms I'd Like to Fuck, the Olsen twins, pony play and tequila worms.
Moving on.

I was perhaps slightly unclear. I am not at all upset with my status of "single". What set me off was the bruise on my arm. So please, stop emailing me cute stories of why it's ok to be single, and why boys suck.
I was emailed a little gem from this place that got my blood boiling.
It's all about how guys suck. I don't have the time, nor will I subject my readers to the entire post, but I will take a minute to single out a few that really got to me.

This chick writes: "Boys don't open the door for someone with breasts anymore. Even worse, the elderly no longer qualify to receive this small act of politeness. Boys will not carry your books from class to class, in a cheap, albeit sweet, effort to move upwards in your esteem.Boys will not allow you to copy the answers to that damned pop math quiz. Of course, thinking of it now, who wants to copy off of some idiot male anyway?
Boys no longer automatically opt to walk between the street and their woman protecting us from cars splashing in puddles, flying bullets and other things. Boys no longer endeavor to learn about the woman they are choosing to spend time with. It seems to me, that ages ago, when men ordered dinner for their women, that the women never got offended. Or scoffed at his incorrect choices. Instead, her palate was sure to be pleased, since said man had taken the time prior to find out what the poor girl liked to eat! Here and now, in glorious America, in the year of someone else's Lord 2004, a woman would spout of some seriously feminist objections to having a man order her meal. I say it would be one less decision I had to make.
Any elderly person, or woman, is now forced to remain standing on the bus, train, etcetera. Regardless if she is weighed down with a million odd packages and three screaming children, a man will simply sit, maintaining his comfortable seat and no doubt rolling his eyes at her tortuous predicament.
A boy will no longer be thankful that he go to hold your hand on the first date,rather he will complain to his friends that the prudish woman did not put out."

I would like to make it known that I think this chick is a complete moron. Lets start at the beginning, shall we?
1) Since when do the presence of breasts have anything to do with my ability to open a door? Although I am a fan of someone opening the door for an elderly person, or a person with their hands full (male OR female, thanks), I am not a fan of a male rushing ahead of me, damn near shoving me out of the way, and standing with the door open while I feel like I should walk faster to get there because he made the effort.

2) Walking around campus, I don't know ONE single guy who would carry my books. Why, you might ask? He's not a pig. He's not a jerk. His hands are full of his own books. The chances of you going to the same building on campus at the same time are slim, so you might as well get used to hauling your own shit, sister. You'll be doing it your whole life with that attitude.

3) Being chivalrous does not constitute being dishonest. Maybe old boy won't let you cheat cause he has a conscience. In my school, cheating is grounds for expulsion. And as cute as you might be and as perky as those tits are, it's just not worth it. Anyway, you have no room to be calling him an idiot, you are the one who needed to cheat in the first place, remember?

4) I don't give a shit if he walks between me and the street, me and the buildings, in front or behind me. It just doesn't fucking matter. If you are close enough to the curb to be splashed by cars driving through puddles, you are a twit who deserves those flying bullets Prince Charming is supposed to be shielding you from.

5) Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and men ordered dinner for their woman, the woman didn't have the option to be offended. It simply wasn't socially acceptable for women to have an opinion. The idea that it's one less thing for you to worry about worries me. Should men dress us, as well? That's one less thing to worry about. And that pesky right to vote? They should abolish that as well. Another thing I won't lose any sleep over.

6) Why should a man give up his comfy seat because a woman is stupid enough to go shopping with 3 screaming children, 17 shopping bags and no car or taxi? I agree that exceptions should be made for the elderly and the handicapped...But I don't see you moving your self rightgeous prissy ass, do I?

7) I've never found a guy who complained about not putting out on the first date. Because I have opinions, and can carry on a conversation, they want me for more than just a cum rag. Try it sometime. Take a look. Most of the girls who get the shit for not putting out on the first date are the ones with nothing to offer. Maybe getting her to put out is easier than listening to her ramble about chivalry.

This chick needs a serious reality check. If I ever met her, I think I'd punch her in the head. Until then, I'll be opening my own doors, carrying my own shit, doing my own work, walking on whatever the side of the street I feel like, ordering my own food, happily standing wherever I want, and putting out or not putting out as I see fit.