Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It's New Years Eve!

It kind of snuck up on me this year.

Sadly, this year will not be spent with Bond, Dennis, The Dolphin and others. (They will have to get stranded on the side of the road with someone else this year).

This year will be spent getting Drunk with a Capital "D" with a friend from College. You will never find a better drinking buddy than this guy, and I'm eternally excited because we are almost physically incapable of behaving ourselves when we hang out.

And I need that kind of debauchery.

Anyway, Happy New Year guys. Be safe tonight, there's more partying to do in 2009.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

So I'm at work, and the filing cabinet is locked.

No one seems to have a key to what is possibly the shittiest padlock I have ever seen. (I have luggage that is more secure, but I digress).

The CEO and head of marketing were arguing over OMG WHAT DO WE DO, and quite honestly it was throwing off my flow with this website I've been working on.

So I walked over there while they were arguing, picked the lock with one paperclip (It was that shitty of a lock) went back to my desk and started typing like nothing happened.

They were AMAZED by this display of talent (Seriously I didn't even have to bend the paper clip. I can pick a lock but this took absolutely no skill short of shoving a paperclip in and turning).

"Where did you learn that?!" Well, my parents locked up the booze when I was younger, and people put far too much faith in padlocks.

I don't know what got into me, but my response was "My cellmate taught me".

He does not think I am funny.
I'm stalling.

Not that this is new or exciting.

It's crunch time at work and I can't seem to get motivated to finish this stupid website. The worst part? It theoretically won't be difficult at this point.

Instead? I played bloons all morning and then picked a padlock. The padlock wasn't even protecting anything, I just wanted to see if I could still do it.


If I was like this during college I'd still be there.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Yea yea, I'm a few days late, but I was in Indiana with no Internets or cellphone reception.

Eat it.

Anyhooter, Merry Christmas, or whatever it is you celebrate.

When I was little, I thought that Christmas was when Jesus came out of his cave. If he saw his shadow, it meant 6 weeks of Easter.

Good news for all of you church going folks, Jesus didn't see his shadow so you're only on the hook for one Easter Sunday.

I hope Santa brought you everything on your list this year!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I am being an emo, emo bitch today.

I need to update this more often, but the holidays have kicked my ass.

Laid off, unlaid off, contracts, family crises, websites to fix, etc, and I just haven't had any time to even think lately.

Then I realized last month, that my best friends little girl, Skylar, is 1.


As in, 365 days old. (More now). And It occurred to me, that I haven't seen much of her.

Some Aunt Clare I am.

Moving back to Iowa isn't an option, and my family is in Indiana, so being in Chicago is pretty well right between them, but right between them doesn't really mean too much when you're not with them.

It's probably the typical holiday stress, combined with a smidge of Seasonal Affective Disorder. (Yea, yea I know. I used to think it was crap too, and then my mom pointed out that my otherwise happy go lucky Grandfather gets the same way. I was pissed. I can't even get a real mental illness.) But right now, I want my best friend.

And that's not to say that I don't love my friends here, I do. They are ALL great. WONDERFUL. But it's not the same as Shawn. And sometimes when the world feels like it's closing in, the only thing that will fix it is a Shawnie hug. That's the greatest part about my best friend. He's got these super long arms that like, wrap around you nineteen times.

At least I know they miss me too. I have it on good authority that when my friend D left here last time, she teared up. When her fiance asked her about it, she threatened to leave him on the side of the road, so if she asks, she's never cried and I have no idea what the hell you people are talking about.

It's usually not such a bad drive, but my car is leaking oil now and I don't have the four million dollars it will cost to fix it, so I'm pretty sure it won't make it. So bless my friend Steve's heart, he's driving me out to Iowa this weekend. He's driving his car, in the winter, to Iowa so I can see my insane friends that he's never met.

I do have a lot to look forward to, because on New Years, one of my FAVORITE people from college is coming to party. Only, I have no idea where we'd go. Obviously, around the Chicagoland area, and the holidays have not left my checking account in a good place, so anything that's not nine thousand dollars would be super.

Any ideas, Interwebs?

In the mean time, I promise I'll take some midol.