There are certain things by whatever force of nature, just happen.
Spring follows winter. The sun rises every day, and sets every night. Gravity will always keep us from flying randomly off of the earth. Skinned knees will always hurt more than major injuries. Much like earthquakes, tornadoes, droughts, volcanic eruptions, there are some forces of nature that just can't be prevented. The most classic example of this phenomenon is my ability to embarrass myself every single time I leave the house.
It is a force that can't be contained, at this point NASA is busy trying to figure out how mitigate the damage left in my wake.
My sleep schedule is massively screwed up at the moment. And I mean massively. Since Wednesday, I have averaged 3 hours or less of sleep a night. Now, to function as a normal human I need at least 6 hours of sleep, 8 if you want me to be nice.
I flew out of O'Hare Airport to Indianapolis on Saturday morning at 6:00 AM. This is the shortest flight in the history of the universe. It takes literally 1 hour to get there, including check in and baggage claim. By the time I got packed and to the airport, I had clocked exactly an hour of sleep on Friday night. Tired is not the appropriate word for what I was.
Sleeping on the plane was simply not an option. I am neurotic enough that I can't fall asleep in public places. I won't do it. Something in my psyche just won't allow it, and this most likely stems from a friend of mine who once fell asleep on a train and woke up in another state. I have managed to convince myself if I was to ever fall asleep on any public transportation, I will wake up in Bolivia. It doesn't matter that the Metra doesn't go to Bolivia, I am sure I will still somehow wake up there.
So, I get to my seat next to a Vin Diesel look alike, which proves that 1) God is a Woman and 2) She loves me. We chit chat for a minute, he turns on his iPod, I pick up a magazine and try to relax.
Only to wake up about an hour later, snuggled up to Vin 2.0. And I mean snuggled. My head was nuzzled against his chest and my arm was kind of draped across him.
Apparently, my inability to fall asleep in public is only limited to times when it won't be embarrassing as shit for me.
So what do you say when you wake up half laying on the hottest guy you have ever seen?
If you're me, the answer is "Oh Jesus, I didn't drool on you did I?".
Not only did I fall asleep and then snuggle a complete (and gorgeous) stranger, I then admitted I drool.
Isn't it amazing I'm single?