Wednesday, November 17, 2004

It's finals.
I hate finals.
My entire life comes unglued around finals time.
Seriously. I lose all rational thought because my brain is so full of random other useless shit that I'll never use, like the difference between a one factor ANOVA and a T-Test.
Almost done though.

My trainer has decided that he wants me to keep a food journal.
Now. In the middle of the hell week, right before thanksgiving.
I assume it's going to look something like this:

Breakfast: Sour patch kids, coffee
Lunch: Diet Pepsi
Dinner: Coffee

Breakfast: Chocolate, diet pepsi
Lunch: Coffee
Dinner: An entire pizza

Breakfast: Icecream
Lunch: Coffee
Dinner: Diet Pepsi

Breakfast: Rum
Lunch: Vodka
Dinner: Beer
Snack: Jagermeister

Moving on. In my combing of F.U.B.A.R. I found the best link ever.
It's about exactly why you shouldn't shave your ass.
I'll give you a snippet, and let you read the rest on your own. (Quit your bitching, all you lazy bastards have to do is click a link). "I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. "
Fucking Hilarious.

Anyway, I leave you with some random links to check out.

This is my Dexxy.

Creepy Bob's Boards.Go here. Look at porn. Sign up. Post witty, relevant things. Post total shit. I don't care.

Science put to it's best use yet. Making alcohol taste better.

Sex Scandal Rocks Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!

Bruce Lee Crotch Violence Research Institute. Enough Said.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

If you ever see my heterolifemate walking beside me in a dark'd better pray that we like you.
All we need are matching tattoos. Boondock Saints style.
TweekerChickQC: I'll be sure to be like "My heterolifemate doesn't even know you and she hates you, that is how much you suck".
HLM: Do it!
HLM: I want her to hate me back.
HLM: So i have an excuse to cut her if i come across her in a dark alley.
HLM: "She threatened me with her presence and std's officer, it was self defense"

Monday, November 08, 2004

Well, I did it.
I met Ron Jeremy.
No shit whatsoever at all.

He was at the titty bar, I went there with Dawn and Sarah...
long story short.
I offered to make out with Sarah (didn't happen don't get too excited).
We got our picture taken with the Big Dong Dood.
He commented about Sarah's Pimpness.
He grabbed my ass, and told me it was "fabulous". He also told me I had a pretty name.
He proceeded to misspell my "pretty name" on the poster he signed for me.
I suppose you can't win them all.
Oh, and Dawnie got some titties crammed in her face.
But yea, I have a big ego now.
My ass is now what my friend calls "Grade A, Ron Jeremy Approved".

On another note, Shawn is back, so I've been busy entertaining him.
He's my best friend. He's got the attention span of a coked up chimp. It's been hard.

Pop over to
Creepy Bob's Boards.He gave me power to abuse.
But shit, give the man some money, would ya?

Sunday, November 07, 2004

I looked through my referrals.
And almost all of the people here lately are looking for the pictures of Tara Reid's boob.
Who am I to deny you?
To FUBAR you go.