Thursday, November 30, 2006

So. A buddy from TJNR found this little gem.
It's called Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex.

Ive never met the author, but I don't like him.
If he wants to speak for all women and assume we all want some nerdy little pussy whipped sissy, that's fine.

I'd like to take this opportuity to post my rebuttal, for those of you that don't read the forums I frequent.

The Politics of Fucking

aka
50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.

27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.

28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.

31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.

33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.

34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).

39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.

41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.

47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.

That is all.


QUICK EDIT:
Ive gotten massive traffic to this page lately...check out the rest of the place while you're here!

654 comments:

1 – 200 of 654   Newer›   Newest»
vhw said...

best.fucking.post.ever!


world needs more clare.

Sean said...

Listen.

I respect you far too much as a woman to do to you the things you would ask me to do.




The best relationships are bereft of any sort of penetration anyways. It's something evolution and society espouses, but we're above crass physicality. Now let's cuddle and I'll tell you about how sparkly your soul is.










I'm just kidding, can we fuck like the lower animals?

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm a girl and I just finished reading that. First off: thumbs up. I totally agree with -most- of what that said. Mainly: girls should be just as responsible as guys are for 1) condoms, 2) getting orgasms, and 3) saying what is and isn't ok by your own preference.

I didn't really agree with the whole 'guys don't like to cuddle' thing.. but I can understand why a lot of guys don't. I'm just lucky my husband LIVES to cuddle with me =). And I'm not one of those girls that talks a lot after sex. I normally pass out before my husband.

Great post. And for all you feminists: it's not that bad. Most of the things in there were pretty agreeable. Just because you like to cuddle and kiss and expect him to do all that romantic stuff doesn't mean you're gonna find one who loves it. Sex is a great way to bring relationships closer, and you shouldn't be so god damned feminist about it. Guys = Girls. Different parts, different personalities, but they're all worth the same.

Anonymous said...

omg lady, you are a genious!!!


im sending this link to EVERY girl i have ever dated...... this page should be made into a pamphlet and handed out to women at doctors offices and in the condom isle.....


kudos to you =-)

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...is it possible that Im in love? haha...well said...wish the girls i met were like that. cause im genuinely a nice guy

Anonymous said...

I never comment on anything I read online cuz I usually really just don't care that much, but this...

You deserve a medal so big and shiny and nice that it's production plunges the world into complete economic turmoil. Or economic prosperity. I don't know how these things work, I'm not an economist.

Anyway, great, great, great article. I wuv you.

Anonymous said...

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.

First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went."

Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!"

So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f**king impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs."


- Isnt it so true? And to the girl/lady who posted that she agreed with the rebuttal - MAN IM FLIPPING JEALOUS OF YOUR HUSBAND!!!!! looks like he got an amazing catch. The best things in life are simplistic. -

Anonymous said...

holy shit


awesome article

thumbs up to that one!
if only some fo the girls i've dated knew this...

Anonymous said...

Nothing short of amazing.

Anonymous said...

clare you rock my world!!

chrissy

Anonymous said...

Wow that was great, i was dumbfounded after reading this, but i do say you must get this list out to the public somehow. Go on the Oprah show or something.

Anonymous said...

speechless

Anonymous said...

Thank you for making me laugh and reminding me how much I appreciate my wife!

Anonymous said...

I'm a female... and I absolutely love this post. Reading the previous blog actually pissed me off, I love this rebuttal. I can't understand how women can't feel this way... I guess my support comes from being around guys all the time and thinking like a guy often.
Way to go Clare...

Matt S said...

Great post, but white on black made my eye go funny.

Anonymous said...

Damn do I agree.

Dan said...

i heard that all i have to do is get you drunk?

Anonymous said...

YOU DESERVE A NOBEL PRIZE OR SOME SHIT ALL WOMEN NEED TO FOLLOW THIS!!!

Adam said...

Awesome post. Showing the girlfriend this tonight.

ps. You have been dugg- congrats.

Gregg O'Connell said...

I Love my penis!
www.greggoconnell.com

Anonymous said...

Learned a lot from reading this...maybe this will help a few things in my current relationship. Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

You get a digg and an' "atta girl." If only every woman I've slept with had read this?

Anonymous said...

I wouldnt believe women like you existed except that right now I must be dating your twin, not to say that you are 100% correct, just damn close. either way it has been one of the best dating experiences of my life so far.
I hope you make your guy very happy, and I hope he does the same in return.

- a nice guy

PS yes, nice guys finish last, but the way there is so much more fun.

Anonymous said...

This is pretty stereotypical, because not all men are like that, and not all women are like that. I personally think this is rather immature, and whoever wrote it needs a serious reality check.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for saying waht so many of us women have been trying to prove to men for so long. I agree with everything, and ,most of it I actually do. Mondo kudos ok. Rock on.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic post! Bravo!

Anonymous said...

i highly suggest you send this article to cosmo and see what they think....

Anonymous said...

I nominate this for manditory reading for all females on their 18th birthday.

Carry on.

Anonymous said...

Love Love Love i'm a chick and I love love love!!! sending to my boyfriend tonight !!!

Anonymous said...

Hi. I read your article , ( well, a lot of it.) and I have t say I agree with you about #'s 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 34, 35, 37, and 38. Great job, keep it up.

Oh, and 47.

Please send some intelligent girls like you ( as long as they are Hot with a capital H.) my way.

Anonymous said...

Jeez! You must have talked to my wife. She really needs to read this. Thanks a billion.

Anonymous said...

#31. Two words: Ears; nipples. Yesss.. :-)

CoolDude said...

If only more women were like you, the world would be a much better place.

Michael said...

Excellent post. Had a lot of fun reading it! Thanks! :D

Meghan said...

I am a female, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I agree with everything you've said completely. I've said quite a bit of it myself before. I can't stand being around women who toy and act like sex is an obligation. Sex is fantastic and such a stress reliever wherever it takes place and however. I've been having sex for a while now and I don't think I've ever done anything resembling "making love." Yeah, right. You keep doing your thing.

Anonymous said...

My God...A profit is among us....Thanks for the honesty and frank honesty.

Anonymous said...

Excellent and refreshing. You rock!

Anonymous said...

ok for the person who said that this is a bit sterotypical and immature needs to stfu. If you havent read all the other posts of people agreeing then open your eyes. There are stereotypes for a reason and it's because certain people live up to those stereotpyes. I personally have had some of these exact same experiances with my gf and she's actually the one who showed it to me. We laughed at how real this post was.

Anyway great post!

Anonymous said...

To the guy/gal that thought this was immature.

Nothing is more mature than:
1) taking responsibility for yourself, including your role in sex.

2) letting the little things go and sometimes appreciating them/laughing at them, including what happens during sex.

3) giving as much as you receive and trying to understand others' point of view, while trying to let others' understand your point of view respectfully. This includes your stance on sex.

This article is all about the above three things.

Manu Bharadwaj said...

i'm at a loss of words...

*bow* *bow* * bow*

all hail!

Anonymous said...

Honey, you deserve many, many raging orgasms for such a wonderful, no BS piece! Listen, Speak, Give, Take. Not that difficult, is it?
I'll forward the link to Cosmo myself!

Anonymous said...

Amen sister, amen! I've always felt that men were held to impossible standards by women who think that having a vagina was romantic. When women play, the guy gets twice as motivated and then cuddling actually strikes him as his idea. And women need to thank men for opening the door and be gracious when gently turning down a man's invitation to dance. Men have feelings, too.

Anonymous said...

You are amazing. Only if every girl has this knowledge, relationships would be so good.

Please go on Oprah or something.

Actually if I ever date a girl in future that read this post, I'll come back again and buy you a gift.


thanks a lot,

Anonymous said...

Oops, meant to add to "Amen sister..." that I'm a woman and have had a greater appreciation for men since some of them might not come back alive. Please this isn't an invite to start whining about the war. I'm just saying, let's treasure them more, not less.

Anonymous said...

Marry me!

Anonymous said...

This is the most honest, non-idealized and down to earth text I've read all year. Tweekerchick, you should be a therapist... God knows you're alot more of one than that babbling author (of "50 mistakes men make" you linked us to) who claims to be one. That's for sure.

I applaud your empathy and common sense!

D Prime said...

iam like a 45th degree mason of sex and your advice sucks .
what are you tryin to boost your popularity points by using the label of a cool
girl that understands what a men want . The sad thing is that it worked by all the comments i see

its called soicialism/from the united states to the united kingdom i'll spit into
the sky and extingish the sun ---canibus

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
Wow that was great, i was dumbfounded after reading this, but i do say you must get this list out to the public somehow. Go on the Oprah show or something."

Congratulations... you were on Ebaumsworld.com

AWESOME BTW..

I am a girl and I totally agree :)

regeya said...

most. brillant. blog post. evar.

I find nothing to disagree with. It's brilliant.

D Prime said...

brillant, get a life if this is genuis to u then u are a tool.
fucking string theory is brillant but i cant save a whole generation
whos been fuckin brainwashed into this bullshit..

Anonymous said...

That is the nicest post i've read in a while. Definitely a must read for girls all over the world...

Anonymous said...

Awsome list, but you forgot something.

When a guy goes down on a girl and after comes up for a kiss. Kiss him, let him know he's done a good job. A little bodily fluid never hurt anyone, that goes for guy too!

Kirtar The Odd said...

I love it! With the way things are today, though, I'm surprised there's no bashing here from the feminazis. Whenever I state women = men, as a man, I get bitched out so fast it's actually kind of funny. Nice to see a bunch of open-minded people here, women and men alike. Maybe there's hope for us after all!

And D Prime... I think you're the one trying to look cool when you start your post by stating how awesome you think you are and then again when you use a completely irrelevant but supposedly "deep" signature. Then there's the next post - excessive profanity is not a suitible replacement for intelligence. And I like how you associate string theory with yourself and saving the world when you can't even take the time to spell correctly.

Just so you know, D, the attempt to look cool failed.

But I digress. Proceed to rock in a forwardly direction, tweeker!

Anonymous said...

While I have your attention. Most women DO NOT KNOW how to give a decent blow job. Yes ladies, I know it may come as a shock to you, but there actually is more to a halfway memorable BJ than sucking a lollipop. Women often complain that men lack certain skills in the oral department, but they rarely draw the other conclusion - that this lack of oral awareness applies equally to them. Just because your man gets a stiffy, and just because he soiled the sheets, DOES NOT MEAN THE EARTH MOVED! He may have shot his load, but he can do that thinking about linoleum floor tiles. So get with the program, and try working a little harder next time you venture south.

Anonymous said...

Just plain brilliant, do they have medals for this or some kind or reward?

Anonymous said...

great....thats all i have to say

Anonymous said...

It's mostly nerds who read this anyway, where 95% don't get laid on a regular basis anyway and since they are male think this post is awsome.

Remember, most people who claim they are 'women' or 'female' really aren't in the internet world.

But really, a good amount of this is true. Yet guys for the most part are a bit selfish in sex. Don't think for one second most of the women are being looked at in any other way than a piece of meat.

D Prime said...

kitar the Odd, i got my point across that all that matters iam not a type perfectionist
my failed attempt to look cool which u lay emphesis on is just a reflection of our reality thru my words.
i treasure the clarity of thought but u live thru other people.

SFX said...

Top notch! You deserve pie, or something of that nature.

Anonymous said...

awesome article

D Prime said...

follow your own ideals people thats why one is givin a life to
fucking grow as humen being phisically,mentally and sexually
this is why the world is what it is people have to be told what to do in large numbers =Society
u dont thing the gov knows this tools spending your whole life becoming somthing you wernt destined
to be following this advice while you fuck a fat bitch wondering jeez would life still
be of the same quality if u spent time indulging in life face first or being told all the juicy info on
page 9 of cosmo , take 5 min away from cnn or what lindsay lohan is doin and learn karma sutra become good at
it a have sex all the time ....
Most truest thing ever said

Bester said...

I immediately started looking through the list, and it took me a while to realize that it wasn't written by a teenage boy. Good stuff, though, no matter who wrote it.

Really, it's a life-changing thing for me to know that there are actually women out there who... I don't know... who get it.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the saddest pieces of crap ever written.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I love it! I'm a girl who'd like to think this applies to her and would like to add one more. Girls, swallow your pride, among other things, and admit it if your not sure what to do. Every guy I've been with loves to play the teacher sometimes. Buy a book, watch a video, and practice. No one does anything like an expert the first time, why would you think a bj was any different? And for goodness' sake watch the teeth!

Anonymous said...

you are a genious. pure absolute genious!!! your ex is a dumbass for letting you go!!

Anonymous said...

Sex is dirty, IF you do it right! :-D

Anonymous said...

I am a girl.
If you are a girl and didn't already know the good points this obvious, often reiterated crap, you are a fucking idiot.
You're stupid attempts at humor suck.
Goat? Midget? real fucking funny lady.
You were trying wayyy too hard to get on the guys' good side (whatever the fuck you think that is).
Acting like one of the guys doesn't get you anywhere.
In fact, it's pretty unattractive.
There are things that men do during sex that are annoying as well. Taking one side completely makes you look like an ass.
If you are over the age of 17, call me surprised.
I am great in bed.
My boyfriend is great in bed.
It's common sense.
Whatever.
Being on top for some girls is like trying to tickle yourself.
There are other positions that excite guys more.
You say to let a guy know what you like. . .

Sex is about mutual respect.

So anyways,

Go let a guy grab your head, shove his cock down your throat while you get bruises against the wall, then pretend to enjoy his cock between your tits.
Now that is enjoying sex as a women, isn't it??

Have fun lady!!!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to propose an addendum for #40: When kissing, don't try to rip his goddamn lower lip off. Ouch, christ, pain...

Anonymous said...

If every woman followed this, there would be no divorces or cheating. Some of this actually looks like it was written by a guy, so I think you've captured the male mindset perfectly. I would place more emphasis on #30, especially for feminists. Whenever you're in the mood, and he's available, turn him on and take the reins. Act like you actually want to have sex, and not like it's some chore you do reluctantly. It will be more pleasurable for both parties.

Anonymous said...

This is the most genious thing I have ever seen. Good job on writing this, I think all women need to read this. Everyone would be a lot happier in life.

p.s. I NEVER comment on articles/blogs I read online, but this is worth it!!

D Prime said...

This is how trends start this how a whole generation of girls will now act.
if this had the right publicity this could become the standard.




We need investors this could be on mtv / humen nature put jesus on the cross and made him bleed


Who paves the future gods will or mans mind? -dprime

Anonymous said...

I suspect that most of the "girls" who posted here are actually guys.

Including, quite possibly, the author of the essay itself.

On the Internet, nobody knows you have a penis.

Anonymous said...

It's been pure fun reading your stuff! I like it a lot. By the way, I am a man. This female comment some rows above is just stupid.

rolandog said...

Sex should be a team sport, done between friends/couples for fun and/or 'making babies'.

Your article really helps everyone realize that.

Anonymous said...

@ the 1:02am critic. You completely missed the point of the whole post (which was brilliantly crafted) you self-righteous waste of oxygen. You missed the "loosen up and have fun" part right off, and clearly don't understand that 99% of men (often secretly) wish their woman would take a minimum of 5 of these to heart. You trashed very general and informative ideas, and instead, suggested that everyone be like you in bed (god forbid). Outright claiming that you're great in bed sends up the "Dumbass" red flags really, REALLY quickly.

Anyway, Great post otherwise. Some genuine, truthful stuff here, hope it gets more people thinking!

EM said...

In response to moron-girl (aka: "Go let a guy grab your head, shove his cock down your throat while you get bruises against the wall, then pretend to enjoy his cock between your tits.
Now that is enjoying sex as a women, isn't it??")

DAMN right it is enjoying sex as a woman. Sex isn't about "making love" every single time. Sex is supposed to be fun for both participants. If you want sex to always be "romantic" and "loving", then you are in for a surprise. As a woman who really likes sex a lot, pleasing myself and my man is easy -- it is all about having fun, taking chances, not being embarrassed, saying what I like, doing what he likes, being involved!!! I love to orgasm, but I love to make my man excited and moan and happy, too. If that means that he wants to hold my head while I blow him, thats fine. If that means that when we have sex up inside the front door and I bruise my forehead as he screws me, and talks dirty..well, thats the way it works, because I'm I get to do the same things to him.

This article was fantastic -- and I am pretty damned sure the person who wrote it wasn't under the age of 17 -- sounds like to me she's been with actual .. you know.. men and understands how their minds work, their bodies work, and how her own does as well.

Oh.. and just for your information, sex on top is .. ohhhhhhh so good, and tit sex -- excitement is the key -- get excited about his excitement, and before you know it, you've a mouthful of yumminess .. and you didn't have to do anything but hold your tits together.

Anonymous said...

absolutely fantastic article! You really have captured it all there. Honestly, yes sex is about mutual respect but it is also about connecting with someone and just being REAL. Sometimes it's purely romantic and sometimes it's primal, deal. Congratulations to you for having the guts to write all this! And forget those idiots who have posted on here. They obviously are close-minded and completely unintelligent.

Anonymous said...

iam totaly like a girl for real an??d i like this .
go girlfreind!!!!


check mate --mike

Anonymous said...

i checked ur profile.

it says "single and looking"

surprised????

author of this is 20 single

Anonymous said...

why do i feel like reading a myspace page written by soically challenged slut ?

Anonymous said...

AWESOME POST! Couldn't have summed it up better. And to those sad dudes that wrote if only the girls I dated knew this. Well guys, open up your freaking mouth and talk about what you like and don't like. I make it a point to talk freely about sex with every girl I date. First thing you have to do is make her comfortable to talk about sex. That its totally OK to talk about what you like and dislike in bed. Once you have you start a dialog then the possibilities are endless. Soon you will have opened up the floodgates to ecstasy.

`vbgunz` said...

Awesome. I am a man and you've made 49 great points. I object with 32...

D Prime said...

if the women lives after intercourse with me
i dont consider it sex. ive watched so much porn,
porn from germany with wolfenstein game music in the background,
seroisly i want to know who is behind that WTF..

SomeSaffer said...

Clare.

The world needs more people like you who are not scared to tell-it-like-it-is in a mature, intelligent and funny way.

You sure taught this dude a thing or two. You should try to get Cosmo to publish this post... jokes.

Could you perhaps introduce me to your South African clone? :D

Anonymous said...

my little south african clone :d "your gay" lol

how bout i open your mind to your own countries poverty ---owned

Anonymous said...

most women are selfish and lazy...i can hear the deafening chorus of women shouting, "Whatever!" as they read your list.

What would dear Oprah and her cult members (fembot audience) have to say about this?

P.S. You don't really expect us to believe that this list was written by a woman, do you? Oh, yeah, it's a blog, so it must be true. ::rolls eyes::

Anonymous said...

Oprah wears underwear with dick holes in them

Anonymous said...

huh?

D Prime said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kodder said...

you are hilarious babe :)...

Anonymous said...

Some very good points made; but then I thought the same about the original, '50 things men do wrong when having sex' article too. Perhaps the lesson to be learnt is that most importantly sex should be varied, and sometimes a little quick, rough sex is good but that also sometimes a little slow, sensual sex is good.

Anonymous said...

awesome post. 100% on the ball, i wish every woman i've been with read this!

Anonymous said...

i wish your mom read this --owned

Anonymous said...

hey tweeker, i just waht 2 say thank-u very much 4 letting me know that there are some real ladys out there. thank-u bob

Anonymous said...

I am going to have to break up with my girlfriend after reading this... This IS what I want, and there's no chance she'll convert.

Anonymous said...

One of the best posts I've ever read. Beautiful... absolutely beautiful.

Oh, I totally disagree with #32 though... I've never understood the ball thing. I don't think I get ANY pleasure from a chick messing with my balls... now touching my back and neck that's a different story. Do that while we're f*cking and you're going to end up on my top 5...

Anonymous said...

I agree with most of the stuff on this post but didn't you guys notice she's talking about car parts like a Man with a capital M. I'm definately not saying she is a man, but that it's possible she's the biker chick type - the kind that acts more manly than most of the nerdy readers of this post. Is that what you want from a chick?;)

Anonymous said...

Wow! Well put and a well deserved round of applause! This made my day! My god your like the woman that every man could possibly want!

Thank You for this Post =D

Anonymous said...

To all the girlfriends reading this post:

Take notice of everything, especially the part about...erm...THE WHOLE THING!

Greatest post ever on the subject.

Anonymous said...

yeh i never post eithe
my x wife did all of these (not to dos)

.....

:-/


GREAT POST

Anonymous said...

It's about time some-one struck out against the zombie femenist army. Sorry women, you're not the ones being opressed any more.

I'd love to see more rational points of view like this around .. especially to combat chav mothers who are spreading across the country breeding just to financially rape any man willing to have sex with them!

Keep writing, I enjoyed it loads ;)

Anonymous said...

This was one of the best reads about sex, ever.

Thanks for that!
Greetings from Germany!

Rus said...

OK I've printed that out and left it for the wife on the her side of the bed..Let see if she takes the hint

Anonymous said...

nice one!!! my name is jed... let's fuck

Corey said...

PREACH!!!!... This should be added to the NEW NEW Testament. The Bible the remix.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm a 47 year old male and here's my take... I disagree with #1. I can get hard just by looking at my wife. If a man needs help getting hard, then something's wrong with him. #3. If you can sense your womans bodytalk then you know what makes them orgasm without being told. #4. Not all men sleep after sex. I like to cuddle and talk with my wife. It makes me feel closer to her. #13. Hair is hair and I'm sure I'm not the only male that enjoys slipping my tongue through the bush to taste the nectar. #38. No thanks. Never was any dream of mine. I'm not claiming to be a stud and I certainly am not bragging, but I can and always have made my wife orgasm first. If a man is a man he will always put his woman first.

Aaron said...

D Prime -- you've never really been laid have you? I think you should lay off the herb and the hippity-hop and try socializing with sober people. And *PLEEEASE* take an interest in your spelling, it's hard enough to understand your rambling and circular logic WITHOUT having to decode your spelling. (humEn??)

Flames aside, I enjoyed the blog. Nice stuff. The original 50 had good points and so does this one. People, particularly Americans, are really uptight about sex -- everyone just needs to loosen up, remember that sex doesn't happen in a vacuum (as in: there is another human being involved), and that most of all it is FUN. There's nothing wrong with enjoying it! My wife and I are both pretty sexually liberal and our sex is consistently TEH AWESOME.

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Seriously, this is the best blog post I've ever read in my entire life.

Worth every digg.

Anonymous said...

Most women have a problem with
Equal Rights. They only want to use equal rights when it works in their favor. Sex thru love isn't that complex. Sex without love is just a selfish motion. Communication and Education are the powers to overcome all of life's promblems. If you live by the Golden Rule...Sex, Life, Love come easy.

Anonymous said...

I liked it...The first post about mens mistakes sounded like it came from a person who could benefit by reading this blog. My woman and I thankfully share the same passion for sex, and enjoy all aspects of it. A man or woman could have written this...who cares. it is right on the money, and alot of people could benefit from following just a few of these. Men and Women alike are sex objects, it is in our DNA. We were programed to recive pleasure and multiply, thats why men have a penis that fits so perfectly in to a vagina. If you didnt like the post, you probably dont like sex with the oppsite sex, so why did you even bother to read it?

Anonymous said...

Hmm.

Where does one meet one of these enlightened women without every STD that ever evolved ?


OH right I forgot... not in my Engineering department.

THATS FOR SURE !

Taylor MD said...

what a read, hahaha, good stuff

duran said...

God bless you woman.
Someone who understands its a confusing messy enjoyable crazy thing, and obviously likes it also.

carry on.

Anonymous said...

I was going to let D Prime know that he needs to lay off the drugs and not be awake all night long on one site...(AND LEARN HOW TO SPELL)...but Aaron's comment says it all. He seems to be a person without a life. Hey D Prime, there is a world outside of your computer!

I happen to like the blog and it is someone's opinion...they can write whatever they want. If you disagree with it, so be it. Don't get so bent out of shape.

Anonymous said...

this is stupid. like 1980's like humor.

cash said...

I love this article!

mona said...

I don't think that the things written in this blog are so spectacular.People with self-respect and respect for others already know them.Or at least,they do in Europe...Anyway,you don't need to read blogs to learnthis things,you just have to pay attention to your partner.
Good luck!

Dr Fill said...

This is the mind of a typical 20 year old in our culture.
It's why the jihadis want to destroy western civiization.
Can't say I blame them.

Anonymous said...

wow, great article on how to shame every woman into acting like a teenage boys fantasy.

Anonymous said...

Her parents must be so proud.

Anonymous said...

20 years old and advising the world about sex.
What are your credentials?
How many years have you been at it?
And how many dudes have hit it?
x10? x100? x1000?

meg said...

My bf showed me this just out of curiosity and i agree with most of it and find that i also practice most of it. but i think it should be noted that this is open to interpretation and personal opinion. It's not stereotypical or immature, it just should be treated as a basis for further definition. Remember that everyone's different and has their personal preferences (my bf likes to cuddle more than me and I introduce a lot of the ideas in sex!) The bottom line of this article should be that women are just as responsible for sex as men and should address issues with their partner and work towards a better sex life (using any of these points as recommendations). As far as feminists go, this is an empowering argument, even though its tone is a little negative. I"m a gender studies major, i should know, theres nothing more empowering to a woman than embracing her sexuality and holding it equal to a mans! And remember, there are PLENTY of women out there who know and abide by this. Just because we're buying Cosmo doesn't mean we're taking it seriously. Thanx!

Anonymous said...

Beautifully said Clare. Two thumbs up for you for telling it like it is during sexy time!

PS: Cpt Eclipse is shaaaady..

Anonymous said...

Where have you been all my life?

Anonymous said...

oh please, let us not assume that this was written with women's best interests in mind

Anonymous said...

funny. after reading both blogs ive realised that i actually havent ever met a woman who would agree on the original one, while they all would pretty much agree on this one.

with that said: you rock.

Anonymous said...

So, every year I have a Valentine's Day list of 50 dating tips. They're "personal experience", but other people seem to enjoy them...Loved your list so I thought I'd share.

I'm in a fantastic relationship now, so 2006 is not as snarky as previous years...

http://phreddiva.livejournal.com/239217.html

knievil said...

Clair done went and got herself famous.

Anonymous said...

1,3,6,11,15,17,22,26,30,33,38,50

These are the #'s that my GF has had problems with in the past. Definately forwarding this to her.

Anonymous said...

Hall of fame

Anonymous said...

Amazing post. Bookmarked.

About fucking time someone said it.

Master Kraven said...

Great post. I think My tessa will enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

I love your list. I, too, hated that other one. This list confirms my girlfriend to be kickass.

Nailla said...

I already knew all this but is refreshing to know that the rest of the girls will know about it.....they really make me to be ashamed for beeing a woman.

Having fuck-buddy is the best way to experience and lear a lot about what is ok and not so ok in bed. Try it!

Nice done Clare!

ZoFreX said...

Best post ever.

Anonymous said...

Simply put, priceless.

Anonymous said...

Clare, I don't know if you'll get to this since there are like a million posts, but I just wanted to say that I think your article is fuckin hilarious. Anyone who got offended or pissed obviously didn't get it...And for the people who thought you were a guy, well, they are obviously stupid. I love you and miss you! Good luck being a genious :)

Chrissy

Anonymous said...

to the one who wrote this...i now consider you to be a god walking amogst mere mortals

Anonymous said...

nice

contraculture said...

This article inspired me to put together an anonymous blog. Thanks girl. Hopefully I can live up to this standard of content. I've got some ideas.

As for those of you bitching about her being young... Fuck, is your sex life seriously that bad? That this list offends you? Two words, morons: pussy. whipped. Any woman who doesn't acknowledge that sex has to go both ways to work is a fool, and any man who actually supports this kind of a woman is an even bigger douche.

Clare, it saddens me to hear that both "tweeker" and "420" have no drug references attached to them. We need more intelligent drug users. We need to band together and show them that our alleged "deviant" behaviour is actually as rational as their mundane, comfortable existences, and a hell of a lot more exciting.

-=contraculture=-

Anonymous said...

This is Fuckin'Awesome!!!!

Your boyfriend is very lucky to have a whore like you. :-)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you're pretty much my hero. Thanks for posting this up!!

Anonymous said...

I think I'm in love. Call me!

Anonymous said...

Do you make house calls? My wife would benefit from a chat with you.

Anonymous said...

do you make house calls,my 12 yr old sex slave needs to read this /Sarcasim

--Tools

Anonymous said...

maybe now we can dress are babies in thongs couse thats hip"cool"jive .if i stuck
my penis in your mom would everyone else follow suite

Anonymous said...

#66
slap the girl 3 times while i pound the last dying essence from your vagina "Now Thats love"


it's all opinion

Oso said...

Satire. It seems many of us have forgotten the definition of that word. I really want to know the backgrounds of some of the detractors on here, and what moves them to spiteful words. Context reading would provide a well written tongue in cheek article. Obviously not all may apply to the reader. Why not take things that would apply and use them? Understanding in the bedroom sounds like quite a worthy goal if you ask me! I'm sure I'm guilty of many more things in the bedroom than the fifty that were listed for men! This article at least encourages women to speak about it, and that, in MY OPINION is the best lesson to take from this article.
Well written Clare,
Cheers,
Oso

Anonymous said...

Whoa bitch, you musta had some bad lovers. Not all women are the same. Calm the fuck down.

Anonymous said...

Sad piece of work from a person with no real experience. I'm a porn actress (for 6 years) and that type of shit only happens in the porn flix. In fact, some of the quotes in your "article" seemed very close to some lessons in sex which we did in one of our recent videos. Sounds to me like you are a teenage boy who is posing as a girl just for some attention.

Note to all of the other teenagers reading this, it is all bunk. Real life is not like this. Although I agree with a few of the points, most of it is fantasy. And no, I am not a feminist.... or I wouldn't be starring in porn flix.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see some people know reality vs fantasy. Unfortunately, us reality folk are grossly outnumbered in this forum.

Anonymous said...

my rundown

#1. man find women.
#2.man club women.
#3. man follow guide linked to digg
#4.man have sex with women while unconsious
#5.women wake up with headache.
#6.man killed jesus couse of mans own nature my point is if u took society and rules
away 30 -40 yr old men would be at highschools looking tough for a 14 yr olds.
this world is based off morals from people minds which also creates limits,then they play god thru their morality,
its murder to kill a man but in nature only the strong survive your essence is my food in survival
people dont understand what survivng is .

Anonymous said...

woman..







..that was mindfuckingly brilliant.

Anonymous said...

HOLY SHIT GIRL!!!
your a god damn genious. Have you ever thought of writing a new bible or something?

freeschwag said...

Would you marry me?

tom c said...

wow, i fuckin wish every single girl could read this and bloody listen, so many of the above, slightly embarrassing things have happened to me and trying to explain things to them in your kind of way has never worked and just made things worse, but it is brilliant to see that some women do actually understand this!!
thanks alot
tom

vallabee said...

fucking excellent!!!

well done

Anonymous said...

Tom, the "women" are actually guys and the author is not female.

Internet land is waaaaay different that real life. This dude is living in fantasy world.

My wife and I have a great sex life and we both laughed at half of the crap that "claire" barfed up.

dana said...

good post. I'm a girl - really (and to the person who said that girls aren't often on the internet - there certainly is a population of computer-savvy females out here, maybe not as many as I'd like but we do exist).

but I'd just like to add a note about "feminism." I consider myself a feminist in that I think women should be paid equal money to men and other political ideas like that. In fact, most of the girls I know who consider themselves feminists would probably agree with most of this post. As a feminist, I'm all for communication. And if my guy's into the kinky stuff then let's do it! And if he's not, well I'd probably have to find another guy because I'm all about the kink! I'd just like a bit of a give and take balance - a little romance every once in a while.

bottom line - good post. Just ya'll should know that "feminist" does not mean wimpy-do-nothing-non-communicative-not-kinky girl.

Anonymous said...

here are 50 ingredients to being the perfect sex partner for a guy but if you're doing 10 or more of these things... that's good enough for most of us.

Anonymous said...

In case you all are blind, read the original before commenting that this is a work of genius. The author of this crap simply changed the wording and said the opposite. Nothing profound here, just a teenage boy who is single.

ryan said...

we still on for tonight?

Anonymous said...

just letting you know....that its a girl that wrote that. not a guy.

Anonymous said...

as true as it gets...i actually read all 50 and they are all 100% correct

Anonymous said...

i fucking kill the week minded and influence their children to mine diamonds//
but ive always been the one to rule with my fist// 2 kinds of people the ones that rule
and the ones that just live//i wunder if heaven still open couse half of america tryin
to sneek in//// rags soaked in the blood people shed from religion i killed a white pigion
in front of a sect of born again christians that think the man they killed will come back and save them---

Anonymous said...

Wow there are some amazingly dumb comments in here.

Like the porn star who knows better? Sure thing. I bet you are a porn star. Of 6 years no less. Good for you, but you know fuck all.

And all the people doubting she is a girl...we she is, she's all woman baby. Tits ass and the whole shabang.

And i love how there are some supposed women claiming she is not a woman. Anyone else find that funny? A poster who claims to be a woman but can't prove it calling out someone on the internet for just that?

Astounding.

Anonymous said...

This should be published.

Amazing writing..

Anonymous said...

omfg you are the coolest!

Miss Marian said...

Wow, 165 messages, wonder if you will get to mine. Great job, girl!

Oh and for the fucktards who are commenting negatively, SHE is a girl, a damn smart one, and no it was not done for popularity.

She read something and had an opinion. Amazing I know, but like assholes, everyone has one.

If you don't find her to be humerous so be it, but I'll bet you that you find her intelligence unbelieveable.

I'm pretty sure I'll get my few shares of kissing her ass *like I always do* but meh, it can't be helped.

So congrats to TweekerChick. You are awesome.

devioid_breaks said...

That's really fucking truly phenomenal. It seems to me that you've managed to encapsulate reasonably inclusive instructions for letting sex be sex on its own terms, and not the most tortuous, stressful headgame a person will ever encounter, not to mention a potential self-esteem Pit of Despair. Who can perform dangling over a pit of despair? Not me... er, I mean [macho rhetoric about always being able to perform.]

Anonymous said...

Encapsulate, was that even worth saying
inclusive, yeah you ass like the author is going to go
thru all the comments and find yours interesting or mine
and that goes for everyother comment

Anonymous said...

#665 i live for with the head games women play,
i like to get women addicted to crack so they will always feind
then they always come back /sarcaism. 666 things men love

Anonymous said...

I wish all women thought the same way as you... at least all the ones I dated, anyway.

Anonymous said...

is it me or does this sound like a dude wrote it?

Anonymous said...

and for the girl who said congrats there 120 comments on here,
i account for 30 of them and by the way iam a girl and i like this .cough

Anonymous said...

This message tells guys it's okay to treat women like shit. women like it... we prefer it. Hmm, nope, not me. If you wanna get your knees dirty licking nasty nuts... leave the rest of the female population out of it.

Anonymous said...

gee, since this was written by a girl it must not be offensive to women!

Anonymous said...

I HATE CUDDLING! IM HOT AFTER SEX AND CUDDLING MAKES IT WORSE. BESIDES IM STILL COMING...

Anonymous said...

this post is disturbing. it seems to follow the school of thought that if a girl is wearing a short skirt, it's okay to sexually harass her. if i girl is in bed with you, it's okay to gag her with your dick without asking. it is absolutely not. consent is essential in any sexual encounter, and it has nothing to do with being a man or a woman.

Anonymous said...

Wanna join my threesome? Ah, fuck it! Join my orgy!

Anonymous said...

[quote]this post is disturbing. it seems to follow the school of thought that if a girl is wearing a short skirt, it's okay to sexually harass her. if i girl is in bed with you, it's okay to gag her with your dick without asking. it is absolutely not. consent is essential in any sexual encounter, and it has nothing to do with being a man or a woman.[/quote]

You are an idiot... Seriously...

Anyway great post. I agree with most of the things covered here. :P

By the way, women who think guys are treating them like shit if they do one or two things _YOU_ don't like need to spend a day in a third world country where women have no rights. Thats treating you like shit..
If you don't like something, make it clear. Don't be a bitch about it, just be nice and calm.

I don't know about other guys, but if I did something that a woman I was around didn't like and she came up to me being bitchy and acting like she is everything id slap that bitch. No joke. You haft to realize that men have feelings also. Although we do not show it as much as you do, they are there. You cannot justify treating another gender like shit because you don't like the way they happen to be.

Men love sex. Men are very visual. Men are flirtatious. Don't be offended if a man takes liking to your body. If you don't like it, make that clear. Not every man is a psycho rapist...

Anonymous said...

what a crock of shit... but you're observant at least... congrats...

Anonymous said...

ok... this post bothered me a little bit... maybe because it pisses me off that there are girls like that out there. But on another note that i didn't see anybody address... i've totally been with guys like that. i mean.. come on.. "Hey baby get on top" gets soooo old after a while. And they just lie there and if you ask em to fuck you doggie style after 20 or so minutes of the same old same old and they sigh and whine about it... oh that kills me. I once fucked a guy so lazy that he made me get on top when he fucked me in the ass.... i mean... i got my toys... sometimes it makes me wonder why i even bother with guys like that when i can just take out one of my BOBs and do a better job myself... with fewer hickies on my tits... lol ;D

Anonymous said...

I told this one girl please dont get offended ,i would try you.
Now that i get to thinking about it kinda sounds like wanted to pull a robbery against her vagina

Gerry said...

Two posts up, sure seems like you are one of those girls that pisses you off so much.

Anonymous said...

awesome...just awesome.

Snoof said...

I'm a woman too. The bit that's confusing me is that none of this is obvious to other people (although I am assuming you're not just randomly discounting exceptions such as men who do want to cuddle after sex).

Anonymous said...

Well written post there. I like to read "no holds barred" material like this. Raw and truthful is the good stuff.

The Dead Poet

Anonymous said...

Although everything in both articles should be taken with a grain of salt I liked the matter of fact approach of Claire's article. And yes, Rod Phillips, like everyone else who uses the word "bottom" to describe a woman's ass, is a pussy.

If anyone gives a shit or even reads a post this far down, I think the most important lesson in these articles is that men and women are responsible for sex equally. If you don't want a woman to be selfish in bed help her cum if you shoot your load early. The washing thing in especially is a two way street -- guys your assholes stink and swamp ass doesn't get me horny when we're 69in'.

If you try your best to be a good fuck hoping that you'll get one in return and your sex life still sucks talk about it! Sharing your suggestions and listening to your partner's ideas may revitalize your sex life, unless he/she is an unreasonable, insecure, or otherwise dysfunctional person liable to tear you a new one -- use your judgement on this one.
Last but not least neither author mentioned that it is important to find a sexual partner that is a good match for you! If you're a stuffed shirt who likes to fuck in the dark in missionary only don't shack up with a kink and vise versa.

Happy Fucking!


mistress Fortunado

Anonymous said...

"By the way, women who think guys are treating them like shit if they do one or two things _YOU_ don't like need to spend a day in a third world country where women have no rights. Thats treating you like shit.."

are you saying i do or don't need to go to a third world country?
are you also saying that we have equality here in the first world?
equal pay for equal work?
no sexism?
you must live in your own little world

sandman said...

Huh? This is EXACTLY like a Cosmo list. Except written by a child.

Anonymous said...

I guess your experience speaks in this post. I do agree with most of the points in this post but it is bound to change from person to person and on their prespectives.

I do not know how this post shall affect the lives of other people who reads it but i am quite happy to read it and somewhere deep down in my heart i do belive that there are many girls like you across the globe who thinks like you as well.

Best line in the post "Dirty Little Slut" mwaaahh just love it.

Looking forward for your next post,

All the best!!

Drew said...

I didn't bother reading all the comments, but I read the entire post. As one of a rare breed of sensitive guys, that has traditional values (read old-fashioned) hear me out here.. with a demented twist, I applaud this post. While I may not agree with "fucking" as I have several friends that were brutally raped (fucked) by people that should not be afforded the right to breathe, it is refreshing to see someone other than a guy say some of those things. I am the first person to take the woman's side, and do the best I can to see things from her perspective (I am male, I do think different, but I am a different male, and hence am in a world all my own).

Anonymous said...

Do you really do al the things you write about? If so, DAMN your guys lucky! if not.. im not surprised

Anonymous said...

Ah, the trials and tribulations of heterosexual sex!
Now you've got your guidebook for the ages so you all
can have great sex *all the time*. Frankly, too much work
for me, I'm glad I was born gay. Guys are guys and gurls
are gurls in the end.

Anonymous said...

I do agree with your comments. (And frequently practice those principles) But, I do not agree with how vulgar and tactless you were in delivering most of them.

Both your comments and the person you were rebutting to have their merit. It is all about give and take.

In any relationship, intimate moments will take turns between being down and dirty gruntal sex and acts of gentle love making.

Your attempt at plain speak (though much needed and appreciated) went beyond "just telling it like it is", and your real point was lost to your crass and borderline abusive presentation of what is a very valid point.

Anonymous said...

I don't care how it's delivered, as long as the goods are what I ordered! Great post.

Anonymous said...

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

is pretty contradictory to

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

so, which is it? make him think he's the best you've ever had, even when he's not, or faking it?

Anonymous said...

This is true...if you're a teenage boy (or have the mindset of one)!

Anonymous said...

Whoever claims to be a "45th level mason" (by the way, that's not how you spell it honey, and maybe in D&D, but not the real world) needs to shut it. I've been engaged for two years to my current man, and together for three, and I try to follow a code of my own a lot like this. We have NEVER had a fight, and our sex life is AWESOME. He's not an immature macho desensitized barbarian with the sex brain of a teenager either, he's wonderful. Frankly, what you are doing here is GREAT, and more chicks need to start realizing that the bed is not all about them, and sex is not all about the bed. All of what you said is true, and ladies, if you just learn to go with it or even come up with your own stuff, you'll have a lot of fun! Way to go, I'll bet you have a very happy husband.

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