I hate TV shows. Movies, too

And here is why.

In TV shows, the chunky but lovable main character gets a once in a lifetime opportunity to work at a great company, say in...Cupertino, California.

In the TV show, this girl would move to California from Chicago, there would be some happy going away party where no one cried, and she would land in California and immediately be given a pretty new car and a boyfriend with 16 inch biceps.

In reality, they don't tell you that once in a lifetime opportunities come along and when they do they happen fast.

I am currently on a plane, over Denver I believe, headed out to Cupertino California. I live there now. Well, kind of. I don't actually have a permanent place to live yet. I live in the general in a corporate apartment for a month and then maybe with a good friend unless he realizes that I'm a terror to live with and tells me to live in a box.

What they also don't tell you is that leaving a boss that loves you is scary as all hell, and that even with a company bending over backwards to help you, moving sucks.

The biggest lie, however? The going away party. Never in a TV show does the chunky but loveable main character get shit faced drunk and spend the entire night crying into her very tolerant ex-boss' shirt about how she wants to go but doesn't want to leave. They also don't show every single person you've ever met in your entire fucking life coming out of the woodwork for a reference all the sudden.

They also leave out the part where the people you know cry a lot when they see you.

So in short, TV is full of lying liars who lie out of their lying holes.

Despite all the stress though, I think this is a good thing.

I mean I could be totally and hilariously wrong, at which point expect a "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE TO MY LIFE?!" post, but I get the feeling I'll be OK.

Plus they have Jack in the Box tacos, so ho could this possibly go poorly?