Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I am twenty nine years old and I showed up to work today with a hickey.

Well it wasn't so much one hickey as it was a grouping of them, a set of teeth marks and a black and blue earlobe. 

The issue here would be that I somehow didn't notice any of them until someone at work asked me what happened. What exactly do you say to that? 

I got hammered this weekend and the rest is none of your business? 

I know that you pay me a retarded amount of money but I can't manage to come in without looking like I was somehow attacked by a runaway vacuum cleaner? 

I'm in a weird vulnerable spot and I have a thing for boys with shaggy hair?

Sometimes you just need a good looking guy to tell you that you're pretty and bite you on the neck?

I got into a bar fight and they fought dirty?

If you're me, you just look at the person asking, blink twice and walk away. It's better than the "I'm a drunken whore" defense, which is really all I've got at this point.

No comments: