I am in what seems like a never ending fight with AT&T.

I will lose that fight. It's because of this that I'm typing this blog from the lovely Bensenville Public Library, which has apparently never heard of a chair with any type of padding. Jesus H Christ, sitting in the parking lot would be more comfortable but I digress.

Unlike most of the assholes in the planet who like to call themselves writers, I hate writing in public. There is nothing that screams "Untalented, pretentious asshole" more than lugging your laptop into a public place and setting up shop on the hope that one, just one person, will stop and ask what you are doing so you have the chance to say "I'm a writer".

Actually, no you aren't, you're a pretentious dick, but again I digress.

Writing in public sucks for a few reasons. One, there is a guy snoring and it's throwing off my concentration. Two, I can't really rock out to music in the library (I won't wear headphones in public.) Three?

They insist I wear pants.

I can't write with pants on! Did Paris Hilton create her empire with pants on? Did Bill Clinton lead this country with pants on? Did Jenna Jameson become Jenna Jameson with her pants on?

I think not.

If they can't do their jobs with their pants on, how can I be expected to write with pants on?!

I can't work under these conditions, and I shouldn't have to.

I will be writing a letter to my Congressman.