Tuesday, January 24, 2006

It finally happened.
God finally smiled upon me.

The downstairs neighbor that nearly burnt the apartment building down, pounds on the door at 4 AM and continues to breathe despite my numerous (and polite) requests that she cease doing so immediately, is moving out.

Being the good neighbor that I am, I walked outside to make sure she was really leaving.

She comes running up to me.

"Oh my god, I'll pay you $2 for an empty beer or soda can".

Now, I've had a long few days and sometimes I'm awfully slow.
An empty can? I rarely drink anything out of cans. Thus I don't have empties around my apartment. I tell her this.

"FUCK! I've got nothing to smoke my weed out of."

I have only 2 things to say about this.
1. For $2, you can buy a FULL soda, dump it into a glass, and have it to drink for when you get cotton mouth. It even comes with a free can.

2. A soda can? You're smoking pot using an empty soda can as a makeshift bong? Have some self respect, take a teener off, and buy some decent paraphernalia. You are a disgrace to pot smokers everywhere. I'm sure if one of them wasn't too stoned to move, they'd kick her ass.
Or atleast eat all of her cheetos.

But atleast she's leaving!

I can get a good nights sleep again, and then maybe I won't be such a wench.


(A shoutout to Bligs for providing an accurate spelling of the word "paraphernalia". And a thankyou to thesuit for spelling it "Stuff".)

6 comments:

thesuit said...

that's how I spell it!

JustSumDude said...

Man, Bubba gets a shoutout on Embus' site, and Bligs gets props here... what a gyp.

Sean said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sean said...

I always thought it was cool how some people use fruits or vegetables.

Because then you can eat it!

shirizaki said...

My friends have an industrial grade plastic tube made into a bong with a blowtorch and other tubing. It rocks.

PitchitWasHere said...

Paraphernalia? Isn't that what Purge buys at the hardware store to get tied up with?