Sunday, August 28, 2005

The problem with losing weight is that pretty soon your pants stop fitting. So I decided to spend money I don't have in an attempt to find pants that don't fall off of my ass.
I couldn't find any pants, however, after searching through the racks at Gordmans, I found a really cute flowered bra. It's great. Pushes the twins up a little bit and together, without making me look like Pamela Lee before the reduction.
So I take my purchase, and promptly find my spot in the longest line in the history of shopping, in front of a line consisting mostly of obnoxious males and their friends.
I handed my purchase to the oldest living cashier in Iowa, who tries four or five times to scan it. Nothing. She tries to call for a price check over the intercom. "I need a price for a flowered bra, size 36 CC for this young lady". I swear to god, I thought this only happened in movies.
"What size?"
"36 CC!" at this point the man beside me looked at me, and snickered.
"What are you looking at?"
"Nothing, I just thought they were bigger than that".

This kids, is why someday you are going to find me locked in my apartment with a hundred cats and newspapers dating 20 years ago.


Sean said...

You're going to be an old maid because guys think you have a nice rack?


By the way, I have a new picture request now.

vhw said...

that's the funniest thing i've heard all week, you just made my day. Thank you ^_^

Rho_ said...

That is why I dont buy things too often, I have everyday clothes that I wear till they are practically falling off me, and new, nice clothes to wear out when I go places. The same thing happned to me once with a box of condoms when I was 17. This is why I love the self checkouts now at the grocery store.

grey_fox24 said...

At first I was thinking how funny this post was...

...Then I started picturing the flowered bra...

...I came out of my daydream about 20 mins later.

Anonymous said...

well when you look as great as you do then I am sure all the guys are staring so you should be used to it...but in all honesty that is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time...u just made my day...nice to see your still around...sounds like u have had a O so terrific summer :)

shirizaki said...

Whatever Dude.

Anyway, I would have all been like:

"You gonna pay for the peep show?!"

This is why God made me a man. Then I can be a dick instead of a bitch.

PitchitWasHere said...

Why would she ask for the price using the size?
Like the size has anything to do with the price.


JustSumDude said...

Sometimes the size does make a difference in price. Certain sizes may be on sale, certain patterns may be discontinued and put on clearance ... stuff like that.

This bit of completely useless knowledge brought to you by JustSumDude: None More Worthless(.com)

Somebody mail me some popcorn chicken, I'm hungry.

grey_fox24 said...

I'm shocked and apalled that no one has made a reference to how much easier it will be to get into Clare's pants.

...Not that getting into her pants is easy...

...Or that it's even easier now... I see why no one made that comment.

Sean said...

Dude, Clare's pants will be like so much easier into guys.

Get it?

Because they're no longer too tight?

Well I got it.

Maxson said...

Come off of it guys.

Clare's pants have NEVER been hard to get into.