Monday, February 15, 2010

Ugh. Valentine's Day.

If you've read...well...anything I've ever written in the span of all of my 27 years of life, you'd have known by now that Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday.

That's not true.

Thanksgiving is now my least favorite holiday, but only because my ex boyfriend took it upon himself to ruin it for me. Remind me to thank him for that later.

It's not that I hate it because I'm somehow bitter because I'm single. I'm usually single. I spent the majority of my life single. Until I trick some unsuspecting guy into marrying me, I'll probably stay single.

I'm alright with that. It gives me time to write, drink myself into a drunken stupor and generally sleep with anyone I feel like.

What I'm not alright with is the way other people respond when they find out I'm not dating someone. It doesn't bother me, until I have to have a conversation which goes quite a bit like this:

Person: So who is your Valentine?
Clare: I don't have one, I'm not seeing anyone.
Person: Really? I'd have thought you would have one.
Clare: Nope! Not this year, maybe next year.
Person: That's just..that's too bad.
Clare: It's alright, I've got a lot to do anyway.
Person: That just doesn't seem right.
Clare: What doesn't?
Person: That you wouldn't have a Valentine.
Clare: It's really not a big deal.
Person: Don't you get lonely?

And so on, so forth. This usually goes on until the person has somehow made me feel like utter crap for not buying into this type of bullshit, before they run along, shitting out candy hearts, rose petals and fucking rainbows along the way.

Part of the reason Valentine's Day irks me is the entire idea behind it. Even if I wasn't single, I'd hope that my significant other would show me that he loved and cared about me more than just one day a year because Hallmark told him he had to. I don't want someone to have to show their affection for me because they are afraid they'll get yelled at if they don't, that's why we have birthdays and Christmas.

That being said, I'm going to finish up my work here and go home alone to my lonely apartment where I will work out alone, watch SpongeBob Squarepants alone, and try to catch up on some writing. After that I will bask in the lonely alone-ness all alone.

And I can't wait.

Being alone doesn't bother me. If someone could tell me why my being alone bothers so many other people, I'd love to hear it.


~Dani~ said...

Preach it sista! lol I hate that stigma on singleness... I have my bitter, self-pitying moments, but hey, I have feelings...For the most part, who cares... Single life can be just as rewarding, if not more so, than coupledom. When it isn't, well, that's why Tequila was invented! :)

Anonymous said...

I think that some people fear being alone because it means they'll have to face their thoughts, or their mortality, or the fact that in the end we are all really alone.

Or maybe I'm being overly dramatic.

Either way, I liked that you used the word "bullshit" to describe V-Day. Kudos!

Umgawa said...

To quote Sartre, Hell is other people.