I don't have much to say right now.

Ive gotten alot of emails asking where Ive been because Ive been absent off of Netscape as well. My grandma that I'm named after passed away on Friday and I'm a little far from alright.
She's been in a nursing home for awhile now, and it was a blessing I suppose because she wasn't doing well. She decided to stop eating. It was her time to go and she did it her way.

Unfortunately that doesn't make it easier. And I kind of don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. I have this way of freaking out after the fact and it looks like this time is no different.

She was an awesome lady.

And I miss her.

I am head over heels madly in love.

From the moment we met there was this connection....

I love her so much it's sick.

Yep. I'm in love with an ornery 7 pound dog.
But believe me, she's ferocious. Especially when she tries to stick her tongue up your nose.


This is my mom's new dog Zoe. She was supposed to be mine, but it looks like I have to share custody. Bah.

I turn 25 on Sunday.

Now that I am in my 20's, 25 doesn't seem so bad.

However, when I was younger, 25 was OLD. Like, saggy boobs and Geritol style old. I'm that crazy person who takes stock of things on my birthday, which is by far the most depressing thing in the world.

Here's how things panned out.

Where I Thought I'd Be: Living in an awesome apartment in the city.
Where I'm At Now: I live in a craptacular apartment just outside the city, where the crazy ass landlord wants another $1000 deposit to let me renew my lease. Given it's proximity to the city, I'm marking this as a win, even if it is a piece of shit apartment.

Where I Thought I'd Be: Ruling my own country on a far away island full of natives who worshipped me.
Where I'm At Now: I'm marginally famous on the Internet. By that I mean, I wrote something that everyone and their brother plagiarizes. I need to work on this.

Where I Thought I'd Be: Working in my own office downtown.
Where I'm At Now: SCORE. Fucking score. We are moving downtown sometime in the winter.

Where I Thought I'd Be: Rich driving a Mercedes.
Where I'm At Now: Poor driving a Malibu. Well, working on the poor thing. Apparently it's a step by step process. I'm up to my butt cheeks in debt but I'm sure it'll get better.

Where I Thought I'd Be: In a long term relationship with the love of my life.
Where I'm At Now: Still bitter that I wasted my time with that jackass and having occasional deluded fantasies about attacking his car with a pick axe.

Well....2 out of 5 isn't bad?

I have faith that by some miracle on August 12th I will somehow be debt free and showered with flowers, cash, sparkly jewelry, new cars and affection from male models.

(And a quick early happy birthday to my twin sister, and my cousin Matthew who share my birthday. And a quick fuck you for taking my special day.)

There's nothing quite like waking up to a call from my friend D.
I love her to bits, but she really has quite the knack for drama. More than anyone I've ever met.

This morning was one of those mornings.

She called me in between sobs telling me our friend Johannah was hit by a train. I'm a logical person, and knowing D, I chose this particular time to assume that she's exaggerating. Hit by a train? Come on. That doesn't actually happen to anyone.

As usual, I was wrong.

My friend got hit by a train. A fucking train. How the hell does that happen? Shes a tiny little thing, she can't weigh over 100 pounds, shouldn't she just fly away or something?!


I'm not sure what I'm supposed to really be thinking or doing right now. I'm just sort of staring at my computer screen feeling a strange combination of "What the fuck" and "Oh my god".

If something good doesn't happen I swear to Jesus I'm going to fly into a violent rage and kick someone's ass.

Anyhooter, I posted over at Intelligent Humor.

Go take a look at it so the ass I kick isn't yours. It should be up soon.