The problem with losing weight is that pretty soon your pants stop fitting. So I decided to spend money I don't have in an attempt to find pants that don't fall off of my ass.
I couldn't find any pants, however, after searching through the racks at Gordmans, I found a really cute flowered bra. It's great. Pushes the twins up a little bit and together, without making me look like Pamela Lee before the reduction.
So I take my purchase, and promptly find my spot in the longest line in the history of shopping, in front of a line consisting mostly of obnoxious males and their friends.
I handed my purchase to the oldest living cashier in Iowa, who tries four or five times to scan it. Nothing. She tries to call for a price check over the intercom. "I need a price for a flowered bra, size 36 CC for this young lady". I swear to god, I thought this only happened in movies.
"What size?"
"36 CC!" at this point the man beside me looked at me, and snickered.
"What are you looking at?"
"Nothing, I just thought they were bigger than that".

This kids, is why someday you are going to find me locked in my apartment with a hundred cats and newspapers dating 20 years ago.

Yea.
I know.
I was supposed to update like, 4 billion years ago.
I finally got a little bit of Chris time, so I suppose my hiatus can end.

Honestly, the reason I haven't been around is that I've been god awful busy.
Because I'm retarded.
I swore I'd never do it again, but I took an internship with kids. Little kids. Kids that are way too young for me to beat and be able to claim self defense.
For the rest of my 'summer' (if you can call it that, I've been taking classes all summer) I get to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and deal with 60, yes, 60 little brats with parents who think that their kids are the best things since sliced bread. I now get to do fun things, like stand outside and wave and cheer at the garbage man, much to the amusement of the fraternity house across the street, while wearing a pink smock and trying to sound excited about 'going potty' and reading 'Miss Moo Goes To The Zoo'.
I am 23 years old (as of yesterday), and I am spending the majority of my summer with people who think it's funny to pick their noses and wipe it on their friends.
Let me clarify.
I am 23 years old and I am spending the majority of my summer with people who are 5 and younger who think it's funny to pick their noses and wipe it on their friends.
Please, please kill me.