Saturday, April 30, 2005

I was listening to the radio today, for a reason that escapes me.
The travesties released by the music industry pale in comparison to what I heard.
At first I was sure that I had accidentally reprogrammed my station to one that featured 9 year old girls chanting an obnoxious rhyme.
I listened a little closer, and realized, to my horror, that it was none other than Gwen Stefani.
And it sucked.
Gwen. Sweetie. What the fuck happened?
Now, there's a lot of shitty music released every day. However, this shitty music isn't played repeatedly on the radio, TRL, or whatever music channel is cool with the kiddies these days.
You can't escape it. And that is the problem.
Tragic Kingdom wasn't the best album ever released, I'll admit that. But it's a fuckload better than this "Holla back girl".
Why? Because
1) The lyrics are written in English. I have no idea what a 'holla back girl' is, nor do I want to.
2) She sings, as opposed to chanting some incessant chorus about bananas.
3) There was actually music playing the background, opposed to what is apparently a symphony of different cell phone ring tones.
4) The bass player in No Doubt was fucking gorgeous.

At least she's still stylish and cute, right? Even if her music sucks balls?
Wrong. See her last live performance on MTV.
She apparently got dressed in the dark, or pissed off her stylist something wicked.


The only good things associated with Gwen Stefani anymore are her husband (who can still manage to cut a decent album), and the No Doubt's Greatest Hits album, which is probably the band's last ditch attempt to get some cash before they ditch her pathetic, washed up ass. Why would they ditch her, you ask me?
Listen to "Holla Back Girl" and tell me that you'd work with someone who wrote that.

Please Gwen, just stop already.

24 comments:

shirizaki said...

As far as my "gangsta" knowledge goes, hollaback girl means to "recognize the friendship between another person by saying their name really loud in public". It also is slang for calling a person back on a cell phone. UrbanDictionary says it's when a botty call hopes a guy "hollas back" at them.

Either way, the song has made the popularity of bananas rise.

Pookie said...

This is why i no longer listen to the radio. iPod, anyone?

Sean said...

I'm going to have to call that song a guilty pleasure.

I'm going to learn to say the tag line in sign language, and it will be awesome.

Alexa said...

I don't know what see is doing now. She was better off staying with her band.

The Postwhore said...

Yay... someone else who really hates this bananas nonsense. She can't even spell Bananas right either.

JustSumDude said...

This shit is bananas!

nae_mair said...

She has become a corporate POP STAR. A media darling.

Brass said...

I shit a banana! Err ... wait ...

shirizaki said...

Go Brass!

I ate a banana a while back. It was good. My dog likes bananas.

It could be worse: we could be listening to new britney spears.

Umgawa said...

Now you guys are threadjacking outside of your regular domain. How sad.

JustSumDude said...

It's not just sad ... it's fucking clownshoes.

Hollaback, girl!

JooPita said...

far-out, toots: www.reddink.com/INDEX

Anonymous said...

Okay look..If you dont like her music then dont listen to it. You don't have to diss it. I would like to see you try and do better. That wouldnt happen and til that does your opinion means squat!

Clare said...

Actually, brave Anonymous poster who refuses to leave his name because he's a fucking pussy, I could do better.
I have rhythm. And talent.
Art is criticized. All of the time. Music is a form of that, and she is aware of it.
You however, bother me. Aren't you late for homeroom?

Anonymous said...

I didnt like it at first but since it holds sentimental value it kinda grew on me. but i agree it gets obnoxious after a while lol!

Anonymous said...

wut da fuck is b.a.n.a.n.a.n.a

she can't even spell it rite

Anonymous said...

i hate people w/ no talent that critasize those who r obviously full of it! you guys need to take a look in the mirror and realize... yeah she's better then me, but that doesn't mean i can't be great to! (so give it a try)

Clare said...

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, this is turning into a bad copy of Teen Beat.
First of all, spell check. It's your buddy. Real easy to use, just like your mom.
Second of all. I am a far cry from untalented.
And finally.
Stop signing in as Anonymous. Grow some balls already.

Alex said...

You little shit. Easy to make comments about her under an anonymous title. A very pussy thing to do. Probably a little punk hiding in the shadows playing with his sad excuse for a pecker. Fuck you, and anyone who looks like you.

pinklady said...

Well let's see here. All you anonymous people must either a, be normal readers hiding their identity because they don't want to embarrass themselves with bad taste in music, or b, losers who surf the net looking for sites bashing their beloved Gwen, obviously because they know how hideous she has become as a musician if you can even call her that anymore. Why is it you still feel the need to defend her? Come on. Do you REALLY want to see shit that’s bananas? What’s that? You do?? Ok.. Here you go….
*the heterolifemate

Anonymous said...

well let's see it's easy for someone who may not have any type of musical talent to say something like this about someone who has money. the people who hear her music obviously don't give a fuck if she spelled banana correctly they like her anyway. i think that anyone that dislikes her has the right because everyone is entitled to their personal opinion but damn dont hate. for one she's rich, beautiful and married to someone who is hot as hell. so people damn. and for the record i like the song and if you listen she did spell it correctly so get off her click.

Clare said...

"Who may not have any type of musical talent" is where you done fucked up. However, I'll spare you the musical qualifications of my commenters. Everyone is entitled to thier opinion. Mine, however is the right one.
Now start logging the fuck in, you fucking pussy.

ant said...

her songe is so freaky she shouldent had even donme dat songe cause she s a fag

Clare said...

Who the fuck are you, and which public school did you fail out of?