Hey, I know it's been awhile.
I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my heterolifemate.
She is getting old now.
I can't say much, or else I'll cry, but I'm really going to miss you.
No one else in the world would dream of wandering drunk at 3 AM to get cookies and milk.
No one else understands the need to drive to Joliet IL at midnight to get White Castle.
No one else finds the newscaster named "Von Hefty" nearly as amusing after 1 1/2 bottles of wine.
No one else would let you puke out my car window and laugh as hard.
No one else in the world would spend an entire day helping me drywall after a drunk friend and I fell through a wall.
No one else would cut that drywall in the Home Depot parking lot with a switchblade to fit it into my teeny tiny car.
No one else would find it funny that the pizza guy snagged a piece.
So on. So forth.
I'm gonna miss you.
Happy Birthday, you are old.