I was listening to the radio today, for a reason that escapes me.
The travesties released by the music industry pale in comparison to what I heard.
At first I was sure that I had accidentally reprogrammed my station to one that featured 9 year old girls chanting an obnoxious rhyme.
I listened a little closer, and realized, to my horror, that it was none other than Gwen Stefani.
And it sucked.
Gwen. Sweetie. What the fuck happened?
Now, there's a lot of shitty music released every day. However, this shitty music isn't played repeatedly on the radio, TRL, or whatever music channel is cool with the kiddies these days.
You can't escape it. And that is the problem.
Tragic Kingdom wasn't the best album ever released, I'll admit that. But it's a fuckload better than this "Holla back girl".
Why? Because
1) The lyrics are written in English. I have no idea what a 'holla back girl' is, nor do I want to.
2) She sings, as opposed to chanting some incessant chorus about bananas.
3) There was actually music playing the background, opposed to what is apparently a symphony of different cell phone ring tones.
4) The bass player in No Doubt was fucking gorgeous.

At least she's still stylish and cute, right? Even if her music sucks balls?
Wrong. See her last live performance on MTV.
She apparently got dressed in the dark, or pissed off her stylist something wicked.


The only good things associated with Gwen Stefani anymore are her husband (who can still manage to cut a decent album), and the No Doubt's Greatest Hits album, which is probably the band's last ditch attempt to get some cash before they ditch her pathetic, washed up ass. Why would they ditch her, you ask me?
Listen to "Holla Back Girl" and tell me that you'd work with someone who wrote that.

Please Gwen, just stop already.

Hey, I know it's been awhile.
I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my heterolifemate.
She is getting old now.
I can't say much, or else I'll cry, but I'm really going to miss you.
No one else in the world would dream of wandering drunk at 3 AM to get cookies and milk.
No one else understands the need to drive to Joliet IL at midnight to get White Castle.
No one else finds the newscaster named "Von Hefty" nearly as amusing after 1 1/2 bottles of wine.
No one else would let you puke out my car window and laugh as hard.
No one else in the world would spend an entire day helping me drywall after a drunk friend and I fell through a wall.
No one else would cut that drywall in the Home Depot parking lot with a switchblade to fit it into my teeny tiny car.
No one else would find it funny that the pizza guy snagged a piece.
So on. So forth.
I'm gonna miss you.
Happy Birthday, you are old.

Sorry it's been so long.
I was actually thinking of quitting this thing, but judging by the emails it's just not the time yet.
Anyway, a lot has been going on.
So here is the past month or two of my life, presented in list form.
1. Got broke. Sucked up for my job at GNC back. As a sales associate, none the less. I get paid $5.15 an hour to be treated like shit. I get dick for hours, and am almost literally broke. Best years of my life, my ass.
2. My electricity got shut off for awhile because my landlord is a complete tool and has yet to realize that the notices they send you in the mail asking for money are more than just suggestions. On the 27th, they are shutting off the water. That may also be the day that he is beaten within an inch of his life by an unbathed Clare.
3. I found out that I'm actually going to graduate next year, with a psych major, and a soc and women's studies minor. Yes, women's studies. Somehow, the only thing I needed to take for that as a minor was the seminar. An extra minor for taking one class? Sign me up. However, if I stop shaving my legs and start wearing broom skirts and a lot of brown, please schedule an intervention.
4. I saw Lucky Boys Confusion, again. At Iowa. They stopped letting people in it was so packed. We were some of the last to get in, and we don't even go there. Sorry, guys. The best part of the night was when I went to tell Adam that I liked his shirt. It was Iggy Pop and sorta cool, and I went to say "I like your shirt" And no sooner had I said "Hey, I just wanted to tell you..." Ashley blurts out "Your ass looks GREAT in those pants". Sexually harassing band members? You know she learned that from me.
5. I had coffee tonight with a guy who was cute when he went to school at Augie, but is now gorgeous. I almost suffered a 3rd degree latte burn because I could barely function infront of him.
6. I discovered that there is a boy in one of my classes that I can't look in the face. He is gorgeous. He gave a presentation and stood infront of my desk. Because he's amazingly sexy, I couldn't look him in the face, and instead looked straight ahead. And realized later that because he was standing ahead of me, "straight ahead" was directly at his crotch.
Now, it's where I look automatically. I can't help it.
7. I came across a secret boyfriend who decided that he would only read this if he was mentioned, so there you go Hunny Bunny.

Things seem to be going pretty well, minus the explosion I just heard outside and the fact that Chris never calls me anymore.
Oh, if anyone has any ideas on what I should be doing with my life next year, it would be peachy. Or give me a high paying job. That's always good too.

It never ends.
I just want to curl up somewhere.

Funeral services to Celebrate the Life of Ronald H. "Ronnie" Weedon, 72, a resident of Pleasant Valley, Iowa, will be 10 a.m. Friday, April 15, 2005, in the Grandstands of the Mississippi Valley Fairgrounds, 2815 W. Locust St., Davenport. Burial will be in the National Cemetery, Rock Island Arsenal with military graveside rites conducted by Davenport American Legion Post #26. Visitation will be on Thursday from 3 until 8 p.m. in the Starlight Ballroom at the Fairgrounds.
Ronnie died on Monday, April 11, 2005, at his home following an accident while working on his Dirt Track Racecar.
He was born June 11, 1932, in Davenport, a son of Ronald H. and Virginia R. (Heiser) Weedon. He was united in marriage to Dolores J. "Dee" Clary on December 1, 1960, in Hannibal, Missouri.
He served in the U.S. Army during the Korean conflict.
Ronnie retired in 1995 after 37 years of service for Strieter Motor Company. He had worked in the Body and Fender Department.
He was very active in the local Dirt-Track Racing arenas and had 504-feature race wins over a seven-decade career. Ronnie was a mentor for many young racers and always had time to assist others when somebody would ask for help. Each year local driver's are asked to vote for their pick as the best racer in their respective class and the best local racer overall for the award named for Ronnie, the Weedon Award. Those receiving the once in a lifetime award receive votes from their peers, with each team getting one vote. To read more about his illustrious racing career visit www.ronnieweedon.com. He loved to race and the family time spent at the track. Besides his wife, Dee, you could always count on seeing his faithful companion at the track, his dog Gidget.
Memorials can be made to the family.
Survivors include his wife, Dee; and children, Debbie (Mrs. Ron) Lane, Davenport, Ronnie Weedon, Davenport, Rob (Sandy) Connors, East Moline, Jerry Connors, Pleasant Valley, and Ginnie (Mrs. Rick) Schumann, Davenport; and his beloved seven grandchildren and six great grandchildren.
In addition to his parents, a sister, Eleanor Boley, also preceded him in death.
Online remembrances and condolences may be expressed to the family by visiting Ronnie's obituary at the website of Halligan-McCabe-DeVries Funeral Home, www.hmdfuneralhome.com.
Published in the Quad-City Times on 4/13/2005.

He was a great guy. Took care of every single one of us, and you could always count on Gidget in the middle of the road, welcoming whoever was driving down there.
Here's to the first guy who ever told me my boyfriend was an idiot, and managed to take care of an entire Valley of people. I'll miss you.

This one is hard to deal with. Hung out with him a few times with my sister. Really nice guy.
The guy who hit him almost hit Ashley a few miles before.
It's a fucked up world. It really is.
I'm gonna miss you, sweets.

Aaron M. Perkins
1988 - 2005
Funeral services for Aaron M. Perkins, 17, of Bettendorf, will be 1 p.m. Wednesday, April 13, at the Asbury United Methodist Church in Bettendorf. Burial will follow at Pleasant Valley Cemetery, Pleasant Valley, Iowa. The family will greet friends today from 3 to 7 p.m. at Cunnick-Collins Mortuary in Davenport. Aaron died on Friday, April 8, 2005, from injuries received in an automobile accident in Bettendorf.
Aaron Michael Perkins was born April 8, 1988, to Richard and Patricia (Vick) Perkins in Louisville, Ky. He currently was attending Pleasant Valley High School, where he was a junior, and worked as a cashier and bagger at the Middle Road Hy-Vee Food Store. His circle of friends was everything to him.
Survivors include his parents, Rick and Patti Perkins, of Bettendorf; his sister, Lauren Perkins, also of Bettendorf; maternal grandparents, Jim and Ann Vick, of Louisville, Ky.; and his paternal grandparents, Robert and Helen Perkins, of Radcliff, Ky.
A memorial fund has been established in Aaron's name at the Quad-City Bank and Trust Company, Bettendorf.
Published in the Quad-City Times on 4/12/2005.