I've never been one of those girls to make myself look beautiful to go to class. Normally, I throw on whatever T-shirt is clean, slap on some mascara and run out the door.
I was in the elevator in the library, looking a hot mess as usual. Red hoodie, hair looking like a small animal had nested in it, no makeup, baggy pants. Real goddamn sexy, I know.
The only other person in the elevator was one of the most gorgeous guys I've ever seen. Tall, muscular, green eyes...amazing looking.
And he was staring.
At me.
Great. I probably had something hanging out of my nose or stuck in my teeth or something, and here I am with this amazing looking man.
No sooner had I thought "Well God thinks I'm fucking hilarious", I realized that this man was talking. A quick look around the elevator reaffirmed the fact that he was indeed talking to me.


The transcript of our conversation went something like this:

Amazingly Sexy Guy: I'm sorry..

Tweeker Chick: ...huh? Good start, Clare. Make sure you're not drooling, too.

ASG: I know this sounds really dumb...

TC: It's ok if your dumb, as long as you get naked.

ASG: But you remind me of someone.

TC: I hear that a lot. Who? If he says his sister, I'm faking a seizure to end this conversation.

ASG: I told you this was weird...but there's this website...

TC: Oh fuck.

ASG: And the girl who writes it is hilarious. She's this cute little thing...

TC: Well you know THAT'S not me.Really?

ASG: She's hilarious. You look just like her. I wish I could remember the name of the site.

TC: What does she write about?

ASG: Everything. She's the coolest chick alive, she's even got the Paris Hilton tape linked up.

TC: Shit. You really don't remember the site?

ASG: Something about "Say My Name"...it's crazy how much you resemble her. I guess she lives around here.

TC: That is really fucked up. That is REALLY fucked up.

ASG: I was pretty sure you weren't her.

TC: I guess you never know, right?

ASG: I guess not.


You never really do know, do ya?
What can I say. It has been awhile since I've fucked with someone, and I needed some new material.