Hooray!
A new Tucker Update. I live for this shit.

My favorite site, Lowbrow is back up, I will update my links soon enough.


Now, on to the goods.
I didn't write them.
Walter Sobchak from F.U.B.A.R. recently graced our boards with a guide on giving good oral.
He is a god among men.

"Licking is cheating. Don't get me wrong, though.... it's an essential part of closing the deal.

Most guys that lick pussy are just afraid to get "hands dirty". They like to spread the upper labia exposing the clit, and lick the poor fucker to death. The main problem with that is that you can over stimulate the girl. Not only does it illustrate a lack of interest and creativity, but it can become uncomfortable for the girl. Think of this as the nitrous button on a car in the movies... you have to get the RPM's up until it's the right time to hit the boost.

Eating pussy is what it's all about. Get your fucking face in there, man! Don't just lick the clit. Stick your tongue IN THE PUSSY. Repeat after me: IN-THE-PUSSY. Lick the alphabet, pretend your in a poorly dubbed kung-fu movie, speak Japanese, etc.. Listen to your girl's moans and pay attention. Learn to respond to her body, not your own.

When the tea kettle's going "ooooooohhhhhhhh".....

RED ALERT - RED ALERT - LICK THE CLIT - LICK THE CLIT.......

....and BAM : Karate Explosion"


And they say guys don't know what they're doing.