Friday, October 12, 2007

I drive way too fast.

This is not new or exciting, and the fact that I don't have more speeding tickets is some sort of freak miracle that I choose not to question for fear that it'll stop.

I was driving to Indiana to spend the night with a guy I dated awhile back (It really isn't as bad as it sounds), and I was plugging along rural Indiana rocking out to Puscifer. I noticed a little sports car get right up behind me on my ass. So I switched lanes.

Little Sports Car switched right behind me.

This makes me wonder, but if it was a cop he would've pulled me over by now, seeing as I was going a good 29 miles over the speed limit.

I slowed way, way down, and he slowed way way down too.

Now, any single female reading this would have had the exact same reaction I did, which was "What the fuck?" and a little pang of freakedoutness.

This guy needed to get off my ass, and now.

I quick got into the left lane and accelerated and quick got back into the right lane in front of a truck.

Little sports car followed me.

At this point, it became obvious that I was in the middle of nowhere and some obvious psychopath was following me. So I flipped on my dome light to find my cell phone.

And thats when I saw the cherries and blueberries.

When Captain Dipshit of the Boone County PD (Not making that up, either), finally got to my window, he explained why he pulled me over.

"Miss, you were speeding, and then you slowed down, and then you sped up, and you were weaving. The dome light came on, so I assumed you were under the influence".

So I did what anyone would expect someone like me to do in that situation.

I looked the man with the nightstick, handcuffs, and the gun straight in the face and said, "I was trying to get you to stop following me".

After I convinced him not to make me step out of the car, he admitted that following for 15 miles without pulling me over might have been the reason for my 'erratic driving'.

He let me off with two warnings.

Which I'm keeping as proof that there is a place called Boone County Indiana.

Next Post: Why Honesty Is NOT The Best Policy When You're Pulled Over For Speeding


Travis said...

If they have a boat club, the could meet at the Boone Docks.

Jonstafa said...


Order me some Korean food. I'm hungry.

Benjamin Rubenstein said...

"Is the good life better than the life I live When I thought that I was gonna go crazy" - Good Life by Kanye. i kind of sort of borrowed it.

zoul1380 said...

that was freaky, and knowing that your in the middle of no where. that cop must have stop you not follow you within 15miles and then stoping.

ColeTrain said...

Indiana cops drive sports cars to egg the speeders on so they can pull them over. Indianapolis is filled with them on Indy 500 weekend.

For some reason, these guys like to tail you for miles before they pull you over. I got a ticket for reckless driving 20miles down the road from where he radared my speed. I got out of it though.