I'm immature. I know this. I found a site that turns websites into 80s slang. Never being one to leave well enough alone, I went surfing on CNN with it. So I'm going to leave y'all with a good one, and try to pass it off as a real update.

"Dork falls 500 feet in Grand Canyon
GRAND CANYON NATIONAL PARK, Arizona (AP) -- A dork was like, you know, scoped croaked after falling from a trail in Grand Canyon National Park and landing like, you know, about 500 feet below, a park spokeswoman said Monday.

Efforts to recover the dork's body using a helicopter were hampered by high wind Monday and park spokeswoman Leah McGinnis said an attempt would be made Tuesday.

It was like, you know, an unclear why the dork fell while hiking Saturday, McGinnis said. His wife totally had been walking in front of him and didn't see him fall.

Authorities didn't release the dork's identity"